The Known and Misunderstood
by OverHerHeels
Summary: A month after Katniss and Peeta's wedding; Katniss finally starts making some tough decisions regarding the true meaning of family and what she's willing to sacrifice in order to get it. Katniss/Peeta alternating points of view. Reviews/Alerts/Favorites always greatly appreciated! : Rated M for sprinkles of lemons throughout the story.
1. Chapter 1

**This began as a one shot, but it ballooned into something else completely. Due to writing it simultaneously with my other fic, "When One Door Closes" in short bursts, it may be a bit choppy. I'll let you decide on your own, though. Enjoy! Reviews/Alerts/Favorites always appreciated (:**

"Posner, can you put that in the window? You did an excellent job frosting it." Peeta brushed his flour-covered hands on his apron, and pulled the whole thing over his head. He had come to assist his apprentice in opening the shop but was heading out with me this morning, leaving the young man to his own devices. "Okay, so you know who the regulars are and their cut prices?"

"Of course, bossman! Go, go- enjoy your time with the lady of the house. I can handle everything around here today." Peeta never took days off work. He awoke at the crack of dawn every day, me fixing him a quick breakfast and seeing him off. Often, he was gone before the sun had risen, allowing me the house to myself. Occasionally Haymitch or Greasy Sae would stop by, giving me a bit of company until Peeta returned.

"Don't burn the place down, kid." He tossed Posner the keys and extended a hand to me. I had been feeling tired lately but credited it in large part to the changing of seasons. We had finally married in late October, Peeta's favorite time of the year. The whole experience was surreal. Here we were, seven years after the war had officially ended, joined in a way we never could have before. No one was watching us, waiting for any joint signals of defiance. It was just the two of us, enjoying our life together. "Come on, Kat."

I was jolted from my strange state of reminiscence. We headed back to the Victor's Village hand in hand, the crisp air causing me to shiver slightly. Peeta wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me towards him. Somehow he emitted warmth at all times, something I had come to relish in. "Peet, I am not comfortable seeing her today."

He looked down at me, reassuringly. "Katniss, your mother has been reaching out to us –you- for months. You haven't even returned a phone call in a year."

"I'm not ready to forgive her for what she did."

Peeta kissed my forehead as we reached the threshold of our home. OUR family home.

"Honey, all she did was fall in love."

My mother had gotten remarried a year and a half ago to a man she met in her new district. She had nursed him back to health in her new administrative position in a District Two hospital. Her job didn't require her to deal directly with patients, but oftentimes, doctors still called on her expert healing for cases they couldn't solve alone. The man had proposed, and they got married months later. I was invited, but chose not to attend.

I made the decision not to invite her to my own wedding.

"I still don't know if I'm ready to see her today. When is her train coming in again?" I called up the stairs as Peeta came back down, dressed in a more casual outfit than he had worn to work. Since the bakery had taken on a more prominent role in town, so had Peeta. I liked his new, even more commanding presence.

I put some tea on the stove and he wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing my cheek. "The train doesn't get in until two. It will be fine, Katniss. That's why I'm here, remember? We knew today would be difficult." I turned and nuzzled my face in the area between his neck and shoulder. He still smelled like cinnamon from this morning.

I leaned against the counter, one of my hands grabbing my wrist behind his back. Since the wedding, it was progressively easier for me to voice my opinions, fears. I was so comfortable with him, every bit of him.

I kissed the space where my head had been resting. I heard a sigh his approval escape his lips before speaking. "You'll want to stop before I allow you to take advantage of me." Peeta laughed comfortably.

"Maybe that was the plan all along." I replied, moving my kisses to his lips. I didn't face any reluctance on his end, his hands working their way underneath the hem of my shirt. I leaned back against the counter, allowing Peeta to bunch my top up over my stomach. "I see its working."

The warm feeling radiated throughout my body that Peeta always managed to bring out in me. "The helpless little girl thing really turns me on, you know. I'm thinking I may allow you to have your way with me after all." Peeta lifted me up from my waist and sat me on the counter. I didn't resist when he reached forward and swiftly untied my comfortable drawstring slacks. While I hadn't figured myself in much of a sensuous mood earlier, I was willing to play this game with him today. I wanted my mind off of my mother coming to town and I wanted it quickly.

The wall phone sounded loudly, pulling us both out of the moment. I wasn't letting that stop this.

"Let it go, the machine'll get it." I whispered breathlessly. Peeta's hand had worked its way inside of my waistband and I knew where he was headed. The phone rang again. Until finally the voicemail picked up and broadcast the message across the room.

*BEEP* "Katniss, honey, it's your mother. I know that I was scheduled to arrive today, but I just think that it would be best if I didn't come. We still need some time to resolve our issues, and I think that I coming to District 12 will only serve to exacerbate the problem. I love you, dear. I hope that in time we can work through this." *BEEP* I pulled away from Peeta. I shook my head with reckless abandon. I felt him reach out for my arm, but I snatched it away aggressively. The whole world was spinning.

"How dare she."

"Katniss, baby, it's really okay…"

I whipped my head around, narrowing my eyes at Peeta. "HOW. DARE. SHE."

I saw him reach towards me again, but I was in a state of rage. I grabbed the nearest plate, throwing it against the farthest wall. "How dare she!" I grabbed the dinette chair and flipped it over. "HOW DARE SHE?!" I was sweeping through my home like a rapid flood, destroying everything in my wake. While admittedly it was a bit of misplaced anger, I shoved my husband backwards as he attempted to restrain me.

"Katniss, stop!" He never quit trying. Peeta wrapped his arms around me, pinning my own reckless hands to my sides. Fighting was futile. He had made me a promise long ago to never let me go, and he would keep it as long as I'd allow him to. "Shhh, its okay sweetheart." I hadn't realized that I was sobbing. I was struggling for air amidst choking out sobs. Peeta's hand stroked the back of my hair, attempting to soothe me further.

"Oh God, it hurts, Peet." I finally managed. Not only was my heart hurting again, after having dug up years of repressed emotions, but I was physically ill. The weakness that had plagued me for the past week came back in full form.

Peeta saying he loved me was the last thing I heard before I blacked out.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up in District 12's only clinic, disoriented and upset. I couldn't shake that constant feeling of abandonment that my mother had brought out in me since the first time I saw that blank stare after my father's death. It was nothing new. I had made the decision to let her in, let her be a mother, and she couldn't handle it. Was I that much of a monster, my own mother couldn't stand to see me? I glanced above my head from where I was laying and noticed Peeta absentmindedly stroking my hair. He looked off into the distance, watching the door for any signs of movement.

"Peet." I croaked out. I didn't know how long I'd been out, but it was long enough for my voice to go hoarse apparently. "Peeta, what happened?"

Peeta came to immediately, kissing my forehead and smiling gently. "Katniss, I'm so glad you're okay. I-I never saw you like that before."

"Peeta, what _happened_?" I emphasized again.

"Katniss… Like I said, I had never seen you like that before, you know? The doctor said you won't remember a lot of what happened because the area of your brain that records new memories was temporarily impaired. It happens when there is an influx of endorphins apparently. You, um, after your mother called, you started shattering things and shouting expletives. Behavior which, on the whole, wouldn't have been that bad had you not gotten this terrible look in your eyes. It was like you were having a flashback of your own or something." I struggled to sit up and realized how dry my throat was.

"I'll get you something to drink, okay?" He pressed a button and a nurse rushed in with a glass of water. This was one of the bigger benefits of the war. The new government had made it a point to provide adequate medical care to all citizens. Doctors and nurses still disarmed me. The only medical personnel I ever knew were my mother and Prim. "I didn't know what to make of it. I wrapped my arms around you, pinning yours to your side. Then your body went limp."

I looked at Peeta and thought what I knew he wouldn't- I was scary. The monster that my mother had tried so hard to avoid was out and in full form. Destroying the only home Peeta and I had ever shared.

"Peeta, I'm so sorry." I choked out, tears streaming down my cheeks. He reached out and wiped them away, tilting my chin to his face.

"You don't ever have to apologize to me, Katniss."

"I do, though. I do. I put you through something awful. And the worst part is, I don't even remember any of it. I'm so sorry." My tear fest was interrupted by a doctor rapping at the door. I felt myself slipping away. I wished I could just melt underneath the table. The times I'd hunted or scavenged for my family to eat had never made me ashamed; those actions were committed out of necessity. Yet today, I had acted out of rage, none of which was necessary.

"Katniss, good to see you're with us again. Now, I assume that Peeta has filled you in on the basics of what occurred today?" Peeta nodded and I straightened up. If we were going to be talking about me, I wanted to appear as strong as possible. And this weepy, snotty-nosed Katniss was simply not going to cut it. "Well, more explicitly, your hippocampus, the area of your brain that records new memories temporarily shut down due to an influx of hormones and endorphins. Which is very similar to what your friend Haymitch may experience after binge drinking."

"Oh great, I'm on Haymitch's level." I rolled my eyes and Peeta laughed lightly.

"Well not quite. You went on to faint afterwards, due to exertion- not a drunken stupor." The doctor (whose name I still hadn't learned) made a joke of his own. "And you've been feeling that quite a bit lately haven't you, Katniss?" It wasn't a question, really, it was an accusation. Somehow this man knew that I hadn't been feeling well lately. I nodded my head solemnly. Peeta's fingers were laced with mine, and he ran his thumb over mine. I hadn't told him about that. Boy was I turning out to be a crappy wife.

"There's a reason for that, one that transcends all earthly reason. You my dear are five weeks pregnant."

I might as well have fainted again, because I didn't hear anything else after that.

I recall Peeta's bubbling excitement, the doctor droning on about rules of pregnancy, and the nurse placing some prenatal vitamins in my hand. It shouldn't have come as a surprise to me. I was in between birth control treatments, and Peeta had foregone using protection months ago. It was part of this new freewheeling spontaneity thing I had been trying, and well, this is what happens to freewheeling-spontaneous people.

We left the clinic not too long afterwards, headed back towards Victor's Village. Peeta, who hadn't been able to contain his smile since we heard the news, spoke first. "If you're five weeks along, then this is from that night at that cabin."

I couldn't help but smile from the memory. We had gone up to my cabin in the woods on a Saturday morning and stayed there all day. I attempted to teach Peeta how to swim, he sketched the scenery (mainly me), we fished (I fished, he started the fire), and we ate until we were stuffed. Then, when the sun had completely set, we went skinny dipping in the moonlight. Skinny dipping subsequently led to other things, and ultimately, led to this baby. "Yeah, it had to be."

"I'm not going to act like this isn't the best news I've ever gotten, you know?"

Now that was a real question. "I know, Peeta. And I'd never want you to." The truth was, while I'd never wanted children, I wanted to give Peeta this. He had done so much for me; I wanted to start a family with him. He'd be a great father. I still had to question my own motherly abilities.

Peeta swept me up into his arms as we reached the threshold of our home. "We're home, Mrs. Mellark," and to my stomach, "baby Mellark." I turned and kissed him, long and hard. This _was_ what I wanted, and I wanted it with him.

"I know, Mr. Mellark."


End file.
